Do you feel like yelling, “there is no dinner, there is no TV, if you don’t behave”, but are scared to because that’s not what today’s parenting advice advises?
Well, in reality, children need not be asked what they want for dinner. Children are not there to be negotiated with, they are there to be taught, shown by example. Giving them own way is fraught with danger.
Like pets, children will not hate you for being disciplinary, but rather will take advantage of you if you let them run free. There is nothing to be gained by treating your children as adults. It is misguided. They are not adults and require firm handling, both for your sanity and their sakes.
This isn’t just for you, it’s for them. A free-range childhood is a recipe for disaster later in life.
9 responses so far ↓
Rosie // March 8, 2010 at 9:46 am |
Ain’t that the truth.
If they do get angry at you for not letting them have their way, it will pass quickly.
Mr14 and I can go toe to toe over what he wants, and I won’t let him have, and yet, half an hour later, it’s like it never happened. Until now anyway.
Danya // March 8, 2010 at 11:57 am |
Lots of people are horrified when I say kids are like dogs. They need regular feeding, lots of sleep, outdoor playtime and STRONG BOUNDARIES.
Ironically these same folks praise me for my well behaved kids and ask what my secret is
Rowe // March 8, 2010 at 5:14 pm |
Good way of looking at it, Danya. Main differences are the kids don’t sleep in a kennel, get tied to a clothesline or left at home alone while you go shopping.
fender4eva // March 8, 2010 at 2:20 pm |
Gig,you would make a good father. You’re already the father of male bloggers…….
actinglikeamama // March 9, 2010 at 9:24 am |
I was going to be one of those “earth mothers” who would respect my children and treat them as capable humans right from the start – well, i think that lasted all of two minutes anyway.
It didn’t take me long to realise just how important boundaries are to children – not just to ensure they are well behaved, but to provide the security that is so important for their development, especially in those first few years.
It also proved to me that in providing these boundaries you open up more opportunities for children rather then close them. you provide a strong secure foundation that allows children to challenge and question in a safe environment.
And I am a yeller. I find tone of voice teaches my children how serious I am, whether I am cross, scared or mucking around – It helps them make a decision on if they will continue their behaviour or not. it works for us.
gigdiary // March 14, 2010 at 1:40 am |
That’s an awesome comment, Ally. I’m not a yeller, but am endowed with a deep male voice. It works with dogs and kids but sadly not with cats.
gigdiary // March 14, 2010 at 1:53 am |
I find with cats, that a little chat is in order. I do negotiate with cats. We talk about it. I have the food, the cat has no intention of showing gratitude. Rather than a stern male voice I use an all-knowing conversational voice. Cats like that.
actinglikeamama // March 14, 2010 at 4:06 pm |
Gig, I think we all know that cats just cannot be disciplined, its them that discipline us. only those of us who are truly smart enough to understand that cats are definitly the boss, can ever be happy in a relationship with one. I miss my cats, and hate that I am now allergic.
permanentlytwentythree // March 9, 2010 at 9:30 pm |
I’m a bit of a parenting hard arse. I like this post- too true.
I don’t want to be their friend, I want to be their parent.
And ALAM, I too am a yeller.